Why Artist Shouldn't Work!

I work for an alternative weekly newspaper that is unfortunately owned by a real conservative daily newspaper. Anyways I and all the rest of the company was handed the book you see above and told to read it. It was supposed to help explain what is happening to our company, and oh boy did it.

The book seemed to be a crappy form of a children's book written for adults. Instead it was a gentle way of trying to confuse us into not believing that we are being down sized and assimilated into the mother hive. If you ask me the real title of the book should have been, "Our Iceberg Is Melting, because it's core is full of hot steaming shit." What a waste of life for both the reader and the writer. For a children's book the illustrations weren't that bad, but once again it was meant for adults. So if your boss hands you this book as part of explanation to what is happening to your work place, be comfortable in knowing that your Iceberg has already melted, and a pink slip vacation is probably on its way. WORK SUCKS!

P.S. I think the book is a rip off of the story of Superman, they just use penguins instead. Comic book story lines should never be used in this way. Just Wrong!

Mural photos from my December 2006 show

I was finally going through my photos from my December 2006 Opening. And I came across some photos I took of my mural and my paintings before the show began. The mural took me about 2 hours to sketch on the wall, and around 8 hours to paint. The Damn wall was like a sponge. I went through alot of black paint, and do to that and time constraints I decided not to ad color. So check them out.

Ashley Wood's Popwar

Check this out. It's Popwar based on Ashley Woods Popbot comic.

Original Chocolate Chip Slug Cookies

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) chocolate Chips
  
• 1 cup chopped Slugs

Directions:
PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips and slugs. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. The slugs will provide more than enough grease.

BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes.

NOTES: Care should be taken when consuming slugs. In certain cases humans have contracted parasite-induced meningitis from eating raw slugs. Other wise don't make these cookies Jackass.

Climb & Descent

Here is one of my more recent paintings.
Oil painting, 16x20 inches on panel.

Broken Toes Inked

Here it is inked in. I still have to color it and add texture.

Broken Toes

Here is the pencil sketch for a drawing I'm going to use on my updated website. Whenever I finish the damn thing.

Welcome to the land of the Salty Slug

Well here it is my very own Blog. Some said it would never happen, mostly cause I can't read. Well here it is. The reason why, I wanted to keep the 3.5 people that are always interested in my art up to speed on my latest works. And lets be honest it is a great way for me to get out some of my crazy rants.



Why Slugs? Because they crack me up! Below are 20 very interesting facts about Slugs. Check them out.

1. Slugs are gastropod mollusks without shells or with very small internal shells, in contrast to snails, which have a prominent coiled shell.

2. They are sometimes referred to as the farting shelless clams of the woods.

3. Although they go through 180 degree twisting of internal organs during development, their bodies are streamlined and worm-like, and so show little external evidence of it.

4. You can't beat a slug in a game of twister

5. Slugs include both marine and terrestrial species.

6.They have a rough, tongue-like organ with many tiny tooth-like denticles.

7. Like snails, most slugs have two pairs of 'feelers' or tentacles on their head.

8. Slugs produce two types of mucus: one which is thin and watery, and another which is thick and sticky.

9. Some species use slime cords to lower themselves on to the ground, or suspend from them during copulation.

10. The Ancient Romans used slug slime as an early form of KY Jelly.



11. Slugs are monoecious, having both female and male reproductive organs.

12. A commonly seen practice among many slugs is apophallation, when one or both of the slugs chew off the other's penis. The penis of these species is curled like a cork-screw and often becomes entangled in their mate's genitalia in the process of exchanging sperm. Apophallation allows the slugs to separate themselves. Once the penis has been removed, the slug remains female for the rest of its life.

13. Various species of slug can also reproduce via tiny "darts" of sperm which they fling in the direction of their mate's genitalia.

14. Most slugs eat leaves, fungus, and decaying vegetable material, but some are predators and most also eat carrion including dead of their own kind.

15. Frogs, toads, snakes, hedgehogs, and some birds and beetles are natural slug predators.

16. Slugs, when attacked, can contract their body, making themselves harder and more compact.

17. Some slugs are notable garden pests and there are various methods of controlling them, including slug pellets, beer traps, physical barriers and biological pest controls.

18. Slugs are Nature's Drunks

19. Pouring salt on a slug will draw out all the moisture in its body, causing it to die from desiccation.

20. Care should be taken when consuming slugs. In certain cases humans have contracted parasite-induced meningitis from eating raw slugs



Thanks to my buddy Nate for helping me come up with the cool Blog Title. Thanks DB!